A Minecraft Movie is dumb fun

In my packed cinema, people were whooping and hollering as the most anticipated film of the year so far was playing on the screen. Popcorn was thrown in the air like confetti, soda sprayed down from above me like rain and when the time came for it, people got out of their seats and screamed at the top of their lungs, “chicken jockey!” The movie responsible for all this excitement and chaos? A Minecraft Movie.

While A Minecraft Movie was the best 4D experience I’ve ever had in a theater, the film itself did not cause much excitement for me.

The film follows outcast inventor Henry, his protective big sister Natalie, played respectively by Sebastian Eugene Hansen and Emma Myers, and former 1989 video game champion Garrett, played by Jason Mamoa. This cast of misfits get sucked into a strange, unknown land made up of only square blocks and creatures.

In this unpredictable world, they meet Steve, played by Jack Black, where he requests their help in retrieving a powerful artifact from The Nether, a hellish underworld where creativity, joy and fun go to die.

A Minecraft Movie was made with one obvious goal in mind–make truckloads of money first, worry about the actual handling of the Minecraft IP later. Warner Bros. hired Jared Hess, known for directing cult-classics Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre to take the reins for this popular property. Hiring box-office magnet Jack Black to star was a no-brainer. After that, no brains were involved in developing the rest of this movie.

Once the film finishes introducing its signature characters and creatures, like Steve and the Creepers, it becomes the average, clichéd kid’s flick with weak conflict, themes and dialogue.

No actual stakes or conflicts affect this movie as the characters accomplish their goals with ease. The themes of friendship and being “yourself” are generic. Worst of all, the simplistic dialogue feels generated by Chat GPT.

Jared Hess has a reputation for valuing cheap laughs and gross-out gimmicks over sufficient storytelling and dialogue, and he does nothing different here.

The only memorable lines reference the in-game items, such as “flint and steel” and “chicken jockey.” If you’re not a fan of the game, you’ll have no idea what is going on.

For a game with so many mysterious aspects and fan theories, the filmmakers decided to explore none of it. The film instead copies and pastes straight from the game with no additional lore given.

The filmmakers failed to adapt what makes Minecraft a great game. There is a noticeable lack of the game’s beautiful landscapes and larger-than-life structures. The characters only craft three structures in the entire film. Exploration is also absent despite the game’s unlimited possibilities. The filmmakers never allow the audience a moment to appreciate the beauty of Minecraft.

The characters hold no memorable qualities except for Steve, and even then, Jack Black’s shtick of being the “enthusiastic rock and roller” starts to wear thin early on. Jason Momoa, reduced to comic relief, doesn’t warrant many laughs either. The filmmaker’s obvious intention of trying to make him a lovable character falls flat.

Despite all these negatives, there is no doubt that A Minecraft Movie is one thing–dumb fun.

The movie doesn’t hold back on making absurd silliness in the world of Minecraft. Our protagonists save themselves from a deathly fall using a bucket of water. Characters punch massive square trees and then use blocks to make a fortress against zombies and skeletons. And, there’s an impromptu song about lava chicken.

It’s not enough to keep this movie afloat; instead, Jared Hess and Warner Bros. sink it with its trivial sense of humor and storytelling ability. Hopefully Warner Bros. will take its growing box office collection of $700 million and spend it on hiring animators, writers and a better director for its guaranteed sequel.