The Yankees are making a huge mistake with their hair policy

“If you can walk on water, you can wear your hair any way you want.”

This was former Yankees owner George Steinbrenner’s response to Lou Piniella when the pitcher stated that Jesus was allowed to have long hair, in protest of Steinbrenner’s newly implemented hair policy for his ball players.

In 1976, Steinbrenner imposed what he called the “Neatness Counts” policy which entailed: “No beards. No beads. No Mutton Chops. No long hair. No long stirrups.” The draconian edict was believed to be inspired by Stenbrenner’s time in the Air Force and its strict grooming policy.

Although the Yankees had mostly been clean-cut since the days of Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio in the early 1900s, Steinbrenner decided to implement the rules as a reaction to the countercultural movement of the 1960s and 1970s when younger people commonly grew out their hair and beards as forms of protest and self-expression.

The counterculture of the 1970s may have passed, but the popularity of long hair and unruly beards has stayed. Players like Charlie Blackmon, Brandon Marsh, and Justin Turner all look like they just crawled out of the woods after spending six years alone. The look is less countercultural and more burly lumberjack.

Since its implementation, Steinbrenner has conflicted with players over this policy but never wavered. Free agents have refused to sign, traded players have shouted about it, and Steinbrenner has even called the dugout between innings to tell players to shave their stubble.

In the years since, people have had strong opinions about the “beard ban.” Some say it’s a time-honored tradition that’s kept the Yankees… the Yankees. Others argued it’s an outright dumb rule set by a cranky old man.

Up until last week, I would’ve agreed with the latter.

Right before spring training started, George’s son, Hal Steinbrenner, announced a rollback of its policy allowing “well-groomed” players to break the nearly 50-year-old rule. I couldn’t help but think that getting rid of the ban is stupid.

Although the policy seemed superfluous, it became a part of the team’s history. It really was what made the Yankees unique. Without it, we wouldn’t have baseball’s equivalent of an evil empire run by a wrinkly emperor. Just think of their copy-and-paste pinstripes and cocky attitudes and clean faces. They’re the rich kids with the shiny bikes in The Sandlot.

I can’t believe I’m siding with the dark side, but here it is. With baseball being such a game of traditions and superstitions, this decision from Hal Steinbrenner makes even less sense and is really just a slap in the face to America’s pastime.

It turns out the only thing worse than sticking with a pointless tradition is breaking it off for no good reason. You risk losing part of your identity. The Yankees’ identity is that of a team that America loves to hate, and hating the Yankees is much easier when their players look like a bunch of hoity-toity Ken dolls. Without the beard ban, what makes them different from anyone else? Why change the one rule that unifies the league in their hatred, and separates the Yankees from everyone else?

Despite my contempt for the Yankees that has been brewing since I first started watching baseball at six months old, I say all this just to ask Hal Steinbrenner one thing: Bring back the Yankees we all know and hate… its for the good of baseball.