March 12, 2012
2 mins read

The immaculate contraception

Illustration of a man on a hill struggling to keep a giant pill from rolling down the slope.

Last month President Barack Obama implemented a forceful measure to make all employers, including the Roman Catholic Church, cover the cost of contraceptives for the millions of women already using them.

How dare he.

It is blasphemous to think a loving couple would want to copulate without getting pregnant. To do otherwise is an abomination. The resulting pregnancy that comes from unprotected sex with a partner, or an unsafe one night stand, or a merciless rape, or even the repugnant act of incest is, as presidential hopeful Rick Santorum told Piers Morgan on his show last January, a “gift from God.”

An April 2011 study by the Guttmacher Institute claims that 98 percent of Catholic women have used some form of contraception. This is hardly a convincing argument against the Catholic view. Just because women practice “sinful” behavior does not mean the Catholic Church should pay for it. That burden should be put on the government.

The price of raising a child when a mother is not ready, whether fiscally or competently, is no excuse not to give birth. In the United States social programs are set up to ensure that people who can’t afford to take care of their children are taken care of by taxpayers.

A young mother in need can easily obtain welfare, receive food stamps or collect weekly unemployment checks. It is effortless to suck on the teat of the American taxpayer while your young one sucks on yours.

These things were only put in place by our forefathers for future generations to take advantage of, so do as they intended!

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Socialist liberals criticize the Catholic Church for providing Viagra through their insurance, but these medications treat erectile dysfunction. Contraception, on the other hand, only justifies the desires that young, secular and immoral women have for indecent behavior.

Many Democrats also criticized the all-male lineup of witnesses called on by committee chair Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., on Feb. 16 to challenge the coverage of contraception. These commies claim that Republicans don’t care about the religious freedom of women. If Roman Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, Muslim and Protestant politicians are anti-contraception, that is all that really matters.

In the end, Roman Catholics can be happy that the Obama administration has revised the rule to exclude religious institutions and their affiliates from funding contraception in their insurance.

But before they can praise God, Catholic officials want to cast out government coverage of birth control in Obama’s Affordable Care Act in 2010. It tramples on religious freedoms that are guaranteed by the First Amendment.

The truth is, a life is a life, no matter what. And contraception is not used to prevent mistakes from happening, but to prevent mistakes that later turn into blessings from God. Just remember that the seconds of joy experienced from intercourse are nothing compared to the joy of bringing a child into this world. Rest assured, regardless of whether you belong to an organized religion or not, the Catholic Church will have their say in your sex life.

Would you have it any other way?


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