Stop Making Assumptions About Interracial Relationships

Photo by Nikki Nelsen / el Don

“Oh, you are going to have cute babies” – said every friend, relative, neighbor or co worker ever knowing people of two different races who date each other. No matter if the couple doesn’t exactly look like a top model, the mixed race kids are a guarantee of beauty. This is an assumption that people in interracial relationship need to deal with. On top of that there are other misconceptions, stereotypes, or prejudice.

The funniest thing is that the term interracial is usually understood by people as a White and Black couple, forgetting that Asian can be in a relationship with White, Black or Latinos as well. Even though anti-miscegenation laws were struck down about 50 years ago, there are still  situations when people look at this kind of relationship in disbelief.

The most common misconception about mixed relationships is that this is a phase of teenage rebellion against parents, a sexual fetish or fascination of having an exotic partner. In fact, there are singles who intend to date people of different races just to experience something new, but it hurts serious relationships built on trust, love, and similar values.

I am a white woman from Europe who is in a relationship with a Mexican man. My first experience in how others view us as a couple was after someone hit my boyfriend’s car and ran. I was with him a couple of days after when the insurance agent arrived to check the car. I wondered why he decided to mention in his report that the car owner has a white girlfriend. Having nothing to do with the situation, I just hoped it gave my boyfriend more credibility rather than less. Anyways, it is hard to imagine same race couple situation when they mention that your partner was blonde with long legs or muscular and tall. It would be just as ridiculous as it sounds.

While it is quite understandable different races are going to judge you, the hardest part is to take the comments from your in-group.

We have heard many times from both Latinos and Whites that a white woman can never understand Latino man and its culture, or that Latino men are machistas whose mission is to imprison Caucasian frivolous women at home. Not mentioning some of my friends who are checking on me every three months or so if I accidentally didn’t change my mind about my relationship yet.

Indeed, for those who know only the bitterness of deluded world is hard to believe that people of different races are together not for the papers, visa status, money or reputation, but simply for love.

Where some only see obstacles, others see possibilities. The obvious cultural differences is a factor which can strengthen or weaken the relationship. The chance of learning each others traditions and language is actually an advantage of becoming a more open-minded and tolerant human. There are good and bad aspects in any culture. Mixed couples take the best from each one and create their own system of beliefs and values. The compromise is sometimes hard to achieve, but when it is, it binds the partnership stronger the any other thing.

Being aware of the skin color differences can actually make mixed couple laugh. Either it is one of you who burned their skin red after fifteen minutes on the sun or another who melted into the background of dark-lighted photos. Also when one of you adds Tabasco to literally everything that isn’t supposed to have it or puts ketchup on pizza because that is the way they grew up.

Dear people, interracial couples are completely fine and they are certainly together for all of the other reasons than you assumed they are. And please, do not talk about our future babies. We already know they are going to be cute.