Aryanna PonceThe Cornell 7 scandal shows us something hard to ignore: men need to change. For that to happen, boys need to be raised differently. Women are constantly being looked down upon, judged, and told that we need to change ourselves because of how men might look at us and treat us, even in the workplace.
Too many women have experienced the discomfort of being sexualized in a nonconsensual way. That is why the conversation needs to focus on teaching men to do better and to not look at women as objects, competition or beneath them. Instead of constantly teaching women how to protect themselves from men, why can’t we teach boys how to grow up and develop basic human decency?
Society spends so much time teaching girls how to dress, how to act and how to avoid becoming a target. But why aren’t we teaching boys to understand respect, boundaries and accountability? We, as women, shouldn’t bear the responsibility for how men choose to behave in gross or disrespectful manners. It’s not all men, but most.
In October 2024, a 20-year-old Cornell student alleged that she was sexually assaulted by seven fraternity members after becoming heavily intoxicated. During a police interview, she said, “I can say with 100% confidence I was raped,” and, “I felt like I was unable to make any decisions because of how intoxicated I was.”
Despite her claims, the case was closed the same year. Two of her alleged attackers were made to write essays, while the others were let off with a slap on the wrist. It is disgusting behavior, especially from men who go to Cornell University to study law.
Her case gained national attention in 2026 after she filed a civil lawsuit that led to the criminal investigation being reopened. What happened to her is not normal, and it should not have taken this long to get this much attention.
It is known that she was under the influence of alcohol and drugs, but women should not have to change how they dress, act or live to avoid being harmed. Instead, boys should grow up understanding boundaries and knowing that someone who cannot consent should never be taken advantage of. Some may argue that the way girls dress can attract unwanted attention or make men feel certain “needs.” They may say that women should dress more modestly to prevent harassment or sexual assault.
However, someone’s clothing is not the cause of someone else’s decision to harm or sexualize them. If clothing were truly the reason, then why are babies and young children, who are often fully covered, still victims of sexual abuse and inappropriate touching? Their clothing clearly cannot be blamed. Instead of teaching girls to change how they dress, we must teach boys from a young age about respect, consent, boundaries and accountability.
According to the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 45.1% of women in the United States experience some form of sexual violence during their lifetime. This is almost half of all women in the U.S. Now, imagine the women who are being harassed in countries we forget exist being sexualized as you read this. Why, as a man, wouldn’t you want to make that difference, to raise your sons differently, and most importantly, change your ways of thinking?
“Don’t be so bossy.” “Don’t wear that, you’ll distract the boys.” “Smile more, you look unapproachable.” These are comments I hear on a regular basis. If I asked a boy or a man how often they’ve been told to smile more, dress differently, or change the way they speak because it isn’t considered “classy,” I can almost guarantee the answer would be rarely, if ever.
We might win the battle, but we as women will never win the war. The war and ongoing struggle to prove that women are just as strong, capable and educated as men, if not more; continues to this day. Women are still fighting to be respected, heard and treated as equals.
Women have often been looked down on or underestimated in the workplace, especially in careers involving science, technology and innovation. You have to work hard, but not so hard that men push your work down. Be strong and athletic, but not so strong that you look too manly. You have to talk confidently, but not so confidently that you look entitled. You have to be friendly, but not so friendly that it seems flirtatious.
Women are constantly expected to watch how they speak and act to avoid being misunderstood. Instead of placing that responsibility on women, men need to take responsibility for how they treat others. Men can help create change by respecting women’s boundaries, speaking up when other men are being disrespectful, and understanding that kindness is not an invitation to flirt or cross boundaries.
Boys should be taught from a young age to respect women, understand consent, take accountability for their actions, and treat women as equals. Instead of constantly teaching girls how to protect themselves from men, we should also be teaching boys how to become respectful, responsible and better men.
If men want to support women’s rights, change has to start with them. Men can speak up against sexism, respect women’s boundaries, listen to women’s experiences, and stop blaming women for the way men choose to behave. Instead of teaching girls how to avoid being victims, we should also be teaching boys how to respect women. Women shouldn’t have to make themselves smaller, quieter or more careful just to feel safe or respected.
At the end of the day, women should not have to live in fear, change the way they dress, watch every step they take, or question whether they are somehow responsible for the way someone else treats them. We deserve to feel safe, respected and heard without having to earn it. Change starts with teaching our sons to respect women, teaching men to take accountability, and refusing to accept the idea that women are responsible for men’s behavior.
We are more than our clothes, our bodies or how other people choose to see us. We are daughters, sisters, mothers, friends, and human beings who deserve the same freedom and respect as anyone else. Women have spent generations fighting to have a voice, and we should never stop using that voice until every woman feels like she is truly equal, valued and safe. Why are men weapons formed against us? Is this what we call peace? Be a man and make a better home this is where we should rest ourselves. Is it a crime to be sure, to be mature, kind, pure, and divine? A woman should never be made to feel guilty for knowing her worth, standing in her power, and becoming everything she was meant to be.
